As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
