Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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