At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
