For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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