hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
