my mouth tastes like poor choices
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
