I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
