Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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