He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
