wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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