When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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