You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
