question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
