the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
