He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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