She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
