so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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