I just cut my nipple shaving
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
