New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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