What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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