What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
