well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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