How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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