i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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