Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We don't watch enough power rangers
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
