Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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