hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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