I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
