Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
