You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
