Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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