Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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