Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
