When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
