There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
