She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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