She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
