i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize