I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
