Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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