Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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