erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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