youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
