Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
