his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
