So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
