Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
