I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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