no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize