Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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