And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
