I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
