forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
