I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
