i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
