Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize