It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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