a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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