Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
