I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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