We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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