I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just google imaged poop.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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