They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Are we still banned from the library?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize