forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
