just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
