I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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