I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize