I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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