i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
