weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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