he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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