sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
