you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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