I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
