At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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