You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
