This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
