$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
